January 27, 2010

Dear Family and Friends,

Results of the core needle biopsy – NEGATIVE. All is fine. I had to wait a day before the results were back and during that time I thought about what I would do if I had more cancer. How would I react? Every possible scenario went through my head. Now that I have the results, those thoughts still linger. I’ve had trouble falling asleep and I’m waking at 4am.

I do have a special understanding now for those women that opted for the bi-lateral mastectomy versus lumpectomy. Sometimes we don’t get the choice for the lumpectomy and when we do part of the decision needs to include how the follow-up will be handled. Am I going to worry every time I have a mammogram and a calcium deposit looks suspicious?

NOTE TO SELF: Follow-up and Survivorship Issue

• Tests beget tests

~ Most of my friends with a history of cancer always say they prefer to be tested to rule out recurrence but I’m not that way. I don’t want to stick my head in the sand but frankly one false positive test and whew…………..my breast is insulted yet again with 22 X-rays (yes, I said 22), a needle and a tremendous amount of compression...and perhaps harm to some good cells? Who knows?

I have no answer. All I can say is that I’ll follow the National Comprehensive Cancer Network (NCCN) guidelines and try not to drive myself crazy when ‘something’ shows up!

Thoughts and prayers are with you.

Love,

Veronica