Back home

Dear Family and Friends,

I’m back from Alaska and trying to find some semblance of normal with my right arm in a cast. Everything takes me longer. Just pulling a pair of pants on or sitting here typing (word processing) means I have to hold my arm up in the air while the fingers strike the keys. Just to share the extent of my limits, I can’t turn a door knob with my right hand. So be it…six more weeks and this too shall pass.

We returned home on Monday night so that I could head over to the hospital for my first radiation treatment on Tuesday morning. I was instructed to be at the hospital at 7:15am because I was to be changed into a gown and ready for them on 7:30am for treatment. Dima and Marc went with me for my first treatment for support. Getting there early wasn’t really necessary. There was no one waiting ahead of me and I could easily get into the changing room to put a gown on. One or two staff mentioned I was early – so much for following directions. A technician was at the changing room door to walk me to a new room (different from the rooms for simulation and verification). I walked in, removed my cap and gown and lay on the same type of table as before. The ceiling had mural of trees, flowers and blue sky. It wasn’t soothing to me but it wasn’t offensive either. There were three young technician women helping my body align my tattoos so that the radiation would go to the correct area of the breast. It took about five minutes. I forgot to mention earlier that each time I’m on one of these tables they put what appears to be a rubber band around my feet to keep them together. The third or fourth time of restricting my feet they actually explained what they were doing (although it might have been in the video they showed several weeks ago). They spoke with each other – not much to me as they called out numbers. I’m assuming all the numbers were a means of verifying I was in the correct position; however they didn’t explain it – at that moment I was a thing for them to manipulate into position, not a person. They told me they were leaving the room and then they did. I heard clicking sounds for maybe a minute or less, and then the machine shifted over my chest and a different scanner-like apparatus rested over me. Again click, click, click…..for another minute or so. The sound stopped and the women returned to release me. It was quick, maybe 7 to 10 minutes. I walked alone back to the changing room. This first day, I had trouble finding my way back but I saw the scale in the hall way and remembered they told me early-on the women’s changing room was the door beyond the scale. Once I returned to the changing room someone showed up and said Dr. Stromberg and Angie (nurse) would see me and I was to stay in my gown and wait to be called back. Shortly thereafter I met for my first of six weekly meeting s with them. They explained this weekly check-up with the doctor (or sometimes with just the nurse) would consist of reviewing my progress, looking at my breast for reactions to the radiation and to answer questions. They said I would need a blood test consisting of a CBC and differential count at week 2 and week 5. I could get the blood test done at the hospital or anyplace and just bring the results. No script provided, so I assume I was to get it from my medical oncologist. I had one question about using a creame David read about which prevents radiation skin reactions. Angie said that there really wasn’t anything that helped prevent a radiation reaction. Dr. Stromberg said to fax the article and she would review it and let me know if it was something that might be helpful. Then I asked about fatigue as a side effect to radiation. Was there a physiological reason why patients reported fatigue with radiation? Dr. Stromberg said they didn’t know. It could be something having to do with how the radiation affected the tissue or it could be the time involved with actually getting the treatment every week day for six weeks. That was it. Day one out of 33 over.

Day 2 – nothing new. My original plan was to dress for work and then head out for radiation treatment. I thought it would be more efficient to go straight from radiation to work. NOT. I can’t seem to do it. I set the alarm for 5:30am. I walk (not jog) for 30 minutes. Eat, wake up and try to get out the door by 7:00am. Part of the problem is my arm in a cast. I can’t dress fast. I can’t seem to figure out how I’ll get my wig off and back on again after radiation. What about the nylons? They take me about 5 minutes to carefully put on so I don’t rip (literally). So for day 2 and 3, I wore the same black button shirt, no bra (putting on a bra with an arm in a cast is not easy), blue jeans, sandals and base ball cap. I walk into the hospital with my car keys and blackberry. That’s it. Simple. I found the parking at the hospital is not a problem at 7:15am. Traffic getting to and home from the hospital is pretty robust but I can drive to the hospital in less than fifteen minutes. I drive home, put deodorant on (no deodorant is allowed before radiation treatment) and change into ‘work clothes’. Since my weight is still up and my cast on my arm – my wardrobe is considerably limited. It takes a long time to dress but I seem to be able to make it to work by 8:45am. Only an hour and half later than usual.

Wednesday afternoon I met with Dr. Pochron an orthopedic specialist who specializes in the treatment of wrists and hands. I provided him the original digital x-ray of my wrist taken the day after the accident and the radiological report. Staff removed my cast, x-rayed my wrist and then Dr. Pochron came into see me. He said the break was a ‘clean’ break and that I would wear a cast for four weeks (I wondered but didn’t ask if that meant three additional weeks, since I was wearing the cast more than a week already), and then two more weeks in a splint. He was kind. He had a fourth year orthopedic resident with him, who was to put my new cast on. I don’t think she was very experienced in casting because the cast feels uncomfortably tight and I have cuts where the fiber glass is rubbing on my thumb. Unfortunately, Dr. Pochron’s office is closed so I have to wait until next week to have the cast adjusted OR go to an emergency room. I’ve decided to place a Kleenex over the part of the cast that is causing a problem but I can’t seem to get over the tightness. I’m not saying I can make it through the weekend without going to an ER, but I’ll try. The fourth year orthopedic resident knew that I had breast cancer and made a real error when speaking with me. She said ‘oh, I think I’ll go back and review your x-ray, this break could be metastasis.’ Okay, so she’s a fourth year resident, and so perhaps I should give her the benefit of the doubt that she doesn’t know met’s don’t go to wrists? But here’s the thing – there was no reason to tell me she was going back to look at the x-ray and look for metastasis. I could just see one of our patients that don’t know how cancer spreads hearing this incorrect and inconsiderate comment and calling our office immediately in a panic. I was so shocked I said nothing at the time, but I will tell Dr. Pochron when I see him next Wednesday. He needs to know his fourth year resident is knowledge-deprived and may be causing patients to worry needlessly.

Hair and Wig: I loved not having anything on my head during vacation. I think I have a sensitive head or something – but I just don’t like scarves, wigs or hats. Unfortunately my hair is still so short that when people see my hair they have a look of uncomfortableness in their eyes. Then I feel uncomfortable. I want to share with you that my wig is a nice wig. I don’t hate the wig – just how it looks and feels on me. However, I returned to work wearing the wig again so that I don’t have to tend to the uncomfortable eyes scanning my head.

So that’s what has been going on with me for past several days. I’m off today but David has five new patients to see so we are working Fourth of July morning so I’ll be working with him tomorrow.

Thoughts and prayers are with you.

Love,

Veronica