Early summer ~ that time every year when graduations are celebrated everywhere and the future holds nothing but promise for the graduate. I celebrated my own graduation day this past Friday when I completed my last chemotherapy treatment. There was no cap and gown although dear family and friends were gathered round. I did it! I’m done with it for good ~ or at least I hope I am. It’s not that I’m waiting for the next shoe to drop but I know so many who have thought the same thing only to find months or years later that they needed to get right back on that chemo-pony and take that path again. For today, I am going to focus on the outcome I am hoping for, not the one I fear. I’m going to believe that chemotherapy is done for good because that’s all I can handle right now.
Chemotherapy day as usual was late Friday afternoon. This time of day honestly worked the best for me. The Cancer Care Associates (CCA) office isn’t hectic on Friday afternoons and everyone seems happy that the weekend is right around the corner. As Alan Jackson would say, “it’s 5:00 somewhere” and each of us in the office is looking forward to that magical hour for various reasons – whether it’s to start the weekend and get home to families or to get unhooked from all the chemotherapy paraphernalia and beat it out of there!
Chemo-preparation started Thursday with a pre-chemo visit with Cyndi, David’s P.A. Here is what she checked and reported to me. You can skip the details if you want because basically all was fine and I could receive full dose chemotherapy.
- Blood count:
Complete Blood Count (CBC) – This blood test checks the red cells, white cells and platelets. This test looks for anemia or high white counts, which would indicate an infection. This is the test that showed the outrageously high white count (91.6) after the Neulasta injection and I found myself with a three-day hospitalization following chemotherapy treatment #2. This time, however, my white blood count was within normal limits. My hemoglobin, hematocrit and red blood cell counts were all a little low.
Comprehensive Metabolic Panel (sometimes referred to as ‘chemistry’) – This is the test that measures the sugar (glucose) level, electrolyte and fluid balance, kidney function, and most important for those of us on chemotherapy, liver function. As you may remember, it is the altered liver functions that have plagued me throughout the chemotherapy. This time the liver enzymes were all within normal limits. My creatinine level was low. This is an indicator of how the kidney is working, particularly when our bodies will need to remove chemotherapy from it. Mine was low again but another test, the creatinine clearance, is a better indicator than just the blood creatinine test and that one was within normal limits. The kidneys are functioning as they should be.
- Blood pressure: Within normal limits today. I sometimes have trouble with a low blood pressure and prone to faint in a flash.
- Weight: As a woman I despise standing on the scale and having someone document my weight. I was up again. I’m at 114 pounds, an increase of 2.7% from when I started. I know that women with breast cancer sometimes gain weight – it adds insult to injury given what we’re already going through. At some point, I will write more on weight gain but for this time, I’m just happy it wasn’t any worse. My appetite is off, I can’t exercise, constipation is a constant battle and frankly some days I just eat comfort foods.
Chemotherapy day was hectic but great. Friends from the Cancer Clinical Trials Office and CCA kept stopping by my office, others sent emails, Facebook messages and instant messages all filled with good thoughts and celebratory congratulations for getting to the final chemotherapy treatment. For the first time I had three of our kids with me during the treatment. It was so great. Dima, Paul and Anne were with me the entire time and kept me entertained so time went quickly. We laughed and when friends walked in, we shared old stories. Our long-time family friend, Claire Feczko, was particularly funny. Laughter made the time go fast, the arm they ran the chemotherapy in didn’t hurt (it has always hurt in the past, so maybe it’s true what they say – laughter is the best medicine) and the joy of being loved was all over the place.
The day was not without its own version of some pomp and circumstance despite the lack of caps and gowns. The completion of chemotherapy calls for a celebration at CCA. All the nurses working that day surrounded me, pinned an angel pin on my shoulder, gave me a certificate of achievement signed by all the nurses for completing treatment and then they threw confetti over me and wished me the best. It was a nice way to acknowledge the torture the experience and bring closure to that part of my cancer treatment.
My usual modus operandi is to arrive at home, change into PJ’s and then I don’t get dressed again until Monday morning for work. No one bothers me. I have an excellent excuse not to dress, not to do dishes, no laundry and I don’t go anywhere. And for a change – as a mother and a wife I leave all this to someone else and I don’t feel an ounce of guilt. David and Dima drove me home and Paul and Anne stopped to pick up Chinese take-out for dinner. Surprisingly, I had no problems eating beef teriyaki. I settled into my favorite chair with ottoman smack in front of the television. At the time, I thought it unlikely that I would sleep having had 24 mg of steroids prior to treatment and as expected, I didn’t. Paul and Dima stayed up to watch movies with me until 2:00 a.m. and then they threw in the towel and went to bed. I continued the ‘click, click, click’ of the remote all night. I did go up to my bedroom from 3:00 a.m. until 4:00 a.m. but couldn’t get to sleep. After an hour of tossing around and listening to David who had no trouble in the REM department, I decided it was time to get up for the day. I prepared my comfort food of peanut butter toast with honey, coffee, and an orange. It tasted fine – not good but fine and more importantly, I could keep it down.
I busied myself all morning and surprisingly enough my brain continued to work with none of the fogginess I’ve experienced with prior treatments. I had two patient charts to complete, so I had some ‘work-work’ to do until noon. I stayed in the PJ’s and the only personal care I bothered with was brushing my teeth. The pool guy came about 10am to start the filter and adjust the computer, so I had to go out to deck to talk to him. I did that by pulling a sweater over my PJ’s and throwing on a base ball cap. He was too kind to say anything about how I looked and was his usual nice guy self, listening to me ask for pool opening favors.
My face was flushed again the day after chemotherapy – something that has occurred with every single treatment. It isn’t a temperature, just a very flushed face. David seems to think it is either the steroids or the Taxotere. It is another reason why I am content to stay home for a couple days after treatment. I was so relieved to get my work done by noon, so I could totally rest and take it easy for the remainder of the weekend. I watched TV, cleaned out my e-mail inbox and talked to the family. David, Paul and Anne made home-made pizza and we watched the Red Wings in the first game of the finals. Paul told me later I slept through most of the game. I do remember we had a white towel that Paul and Anne got when they attended a Red Wing game last Wednesday. We pretended we were in the audience right at the Joe Louis Arena in downtown Detroit and waved the towel with each goal. Thanks for winning Red Wings - it was fun!
Today is Sunday. I slept last night and I don’t feel good today. My brain is foggy, my eyes are not quite working and I feel nauseated. Emotionally, I’m not feeling much of anything. I’ve not processed yet that the chemotherapy is over although I do go for simulation this week for radiation so it must be true. On Monday, I’ll get the Neupogen injection to keep my white count up and prevent infections. This time, I only need two days of injections because last time my count was higher than needed after three days of Neupogen.
That’s the scoop on the fourth and final chemotherapy ~ I’ll write more later.
Thanks again for all the support and prayers.
Love,
No comments:
Post a Comment